Belcampo

de Schoonveld familiesite

Reflections by Rev. Herman de Mooij at the funeral of John Schoonveld on Tuesday, April 25 2000 in the “Hoeksteen” in Zwolle

It is unbelievable how fast it went, not even two months. On the announcement it says: ‘After courageous suffering.” That is not an exageration; never any complaints or rebellion. He really wanted to live longer, because he enjoyed life. And also: Who would take care of  Fran? 

Your caring husband Fran. You were married more than 51 years. You made your commitment to each other in the tight and difficult years just after the war, in a time of housing shortages. A commitment for better or for worse, in richness and in poverty, in health an sickness till death would part you.

That separation is here now and hurts, hurts a lot.  As in every marriage there were high points and low points. High points: naturally the birth of your six sons and also the 50^th wedding anniversary with all of you. And the marriage of  your first grandchild.

Low points: among other things, the family that was scattered when you returned to Holland, and the loss of two grandchildren, the last one barely a month ago.

John and Fran, they shared everything with each other, joy and sadness and it was very sad that this was less possible because of the diminishing memory of Fran.

77 years lie between his birth and his death. Not everyone enjoyed that long a life.  John’s dad became a widower with three little children.  John was the oldest of the 11 children of the second marriage.

This short, courageous suffering, was not only physical suffering, it was also the pain of  parting and saying goodbye but also a spiritual struggle.  That part I will cover later.  

Pete just presented in a loving and impressive way what his children meant with the words: ‘our compassionate and humorous Dad and granddad’. One of the focal points here is: ‘accepting without criticism’. Without criticism doesn’t seem to be words that would fit John Schoonveld. He had a sharp mind and was witty.  He was often critical about misuse of spelling, and at times critical of the little mistakes made by his fellow workers. But this was criticism given in wisdom, realizing that what looks important is actually not, irony and mildness, but respect for others.

Acceptance without criticism is also the same as unconditional acceptance. Unconditional: you love and you accept them as they are. Even if you don’t agree, even if they would go in a different direction then you would. Unconditional acceptance: You love them, with all your heart, your own kids, their wives, and your grandkids. For Dad this was not only a thing of words but of deeds.  

That was his radiant personality!

Express feelings, personal, deepest feelings, was not John’s style.  His inner thought he kept close to himself.  One thing his wife and kids were sure of; his trust in the Lord. This is true, this is comforting, this reaches beyond his death. This faith was the main driving force throughout his life, this faith molded him, gave him courage and comfort, helped him deal with disappointments, and enabled him to forgive.  

This brings us to the text on the announcement; the words of the familiar chapter on ‘Love’.  These words are more often heard at weddings, seldom at funerals. John chose these words himself. John and I discussed this a week before his death, with the intent on finishing this later.  Sadly, this was not to be.  Even though our discussions were cut short, what the following text meant to him became very clear; We don’t understand these words when we think of the mirrors we know today, glass with a silver coating with a clear reflection of  your face. In earlier times a mirror was a piece of metal, and the reflection was unclear and deformed. Paul in this text is trying to tell us that our knowledge of God, our faith in Him, is unclear, deformed, our view of Him is unclear, we feel around in the dark, much is a mystery. 

During his final days John had many questions about this mystery; what will it be like after my death, will I recognize things.  And he realised; this mystery cannot be solved.  It is also not important.  One thing is sure though: there will be relief.

Earlier I spoke of the physical suffering; most of it in the feeling of suffocating during the night hours. But there was more then this feeling of suffocation.  Where am I, am I ready to meet God?  In the face of death is it impossible to fool yourself and others. John was also well aware of his own shortcomings.  Maybe I can go one step farther: John Schoonveld was through and through Christian Reformed, not limited, but totally Christian Reformed. Born and raised in a time, and now I am generalising somewhat, when we as believers had few questions and many answers.  From the bible we knew how to find texts for everything, from direction for church, state, and society. Religion looked more like the mirror of our times, then the mirror of Paul’s time. Nowadays we often move to the other extreme; many questions, few answers. Questions: how can this be, why does God allow this?  Is there a God?  Is all this real? We see through the mirror mystified. At times we see nothing but these mysteries. And now I say: It is nonsense what the bible tells about a God that holds everything in his hands.  God who comes to us as a child, a cross that is our salvation, a person that conquered death. These things conflict with our common sense, our intelligence; all the things that were the focal point of our church this past week; the cross and the resurrection, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. But this is not something that fits in our times; that message:  an irritation, a foolishness.

These mysteries when facing death, these questions can overwhelm and choke to the point  of suffocation.  This is what Jesus experienced at Gethsemane. This is not the last, but the start, the text continues: “ but  someday we are going to see Him in His completeness, face tot face.”  We have many questions.   When it comes right down to it there is but one answer that rises and brings us farther, beyond common sense: we may put our trust in this God who is love.

I am known, in other words God knows, God wants to know about. God accepts me for what I am, for how I live my life, with all my faults and shortcomings. God loves me.  I think that this is the direction in which John Schoonveld fond his comfort, foundation and conviction. His children said: “Dad accepted us unconditionally.” And that was a reflection of God’s unconditional acceptance of Himself in Jesus Christ. That was John’s safety net.  

In the final nights of discomfort it was enough for him to hold on to Fran’s hand or one of his childrens. The last lines of Psalm 139 are “Search me, o God, and lead me in paths of life to go.” We believe that God’s hands were holding John’s also, not only during the last nights, but through his whole life. God’s hands were lifting him, God’s hands were comforting him, God’s hands brought him home.

Home!

End of mystery.

Amen

laatste wijziging: 27.06.2004