Belcampo

de Schoonveld familiesite

Our concerned, involved and humorous Dad and Grandpa

When we children think of our father we can only do that together with Mom. We can’t think of Dad without Ma or Ma without Dad.

The bible text used at their wedding 51 years ago, stated the same trust in God as Dad now chose for his funeral. The words they received to live by was: The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are His everlasting arms.

The same thing they expected from God in their marriage, they also wanted to be for us. And indeed, they were that for us: a home where we could always come, a safety net in which we could always fall, unconditionally!

For us it was very important to know that the safety net was there. However, the purpose was not for us to use it but, it was there to be used when needed and we were allowed to use it. Dad did not want to be anything but a safety net to us. He did not want to be a leader to tell us exactly what to do and he did not want to be the judge to point out what we did wrong. What we did was always our choice and the choices we made, he always accepted. Our wives he accepted totally as his own daughters and he was also there for them. He never criticized us for our thoughts or actions. This unconditional acceptance was very important for us and the loss of this safety net in our lives is a loss, a big loss.

His acceptance without criticism was not a result of disinterest or distance. Just the opposite! He was very involved with each one of us. He loved knowing what we were up to. He loved meeting our friends. He loved to joke with them about all our quirks in his typically humorous way. This is the way it was when we were young and it remained like this when we were on our own. We, his children and grandchildren were always welcome and we knew that. We could always bring friends home with us, any moment of the day. It was encouraged even. When we were young we thought that this was the way it was supposed to be. Only later we realized that our parents were unique. Dad’s involvement in our lives was always there, also as he became older, until the last moments of his life.

Their emigration to America and return to Holland didn’t make Dad and Mom’s life any easier. Their three oldest children there, their three youngest here. As soon as possible after his retirement and as long as possible, Dad and Ma split their time and thoughts between the US  and Holland. For sixteen years they lived the lives of nomads who every six months moved to the other side of the world. The fact that they were unable to do that the last two years was a big loss for Dad. They traveled to wherever we or our children went, from Westenholte to Michigan, from Oregon to Rotterdam, from Scotland to Madrid. Even this year they had planned to go to Ghana and to grandson Michael’s graduation in Idaho. Their involvement was normal for Dad and Ma and that was the way they enjoyed their life. They helped us a lot, be it with painting, wallpapering or working in the gardens.  

During the last two months of his life Dad realized that his wife, children, sisters and brothers, friends, neighbors and acquaintances wanted to be the same safety net for him, as he had been to them. This meant a lot to him, tremendously so. The many calls, visits, letters and cards made his illness much easier. It helped him to accept his illness and his departure from this earth in his usual manner.  

It really bothered him that more and more daily activities cost him a lot of effort or were no longer possible. From taking a walk during the first weeks of his illness until the simple act of simple breathing during his last days. His last breath came as a difficult relief and he believed that God’s eternal arms were there to catch him.  

We want to sincerely thank all sisters, brothers, neighbors, friends and acquaintances who with a card, a call or a visit, made Dad’s last two months as pleasant as possible and helped him accept his departure from this earth.

In particular we want to thank doctor Meeder, whose care and involvement made a deep impression on Dad and for which he was very thankful.